Neighbor Gossip

So our neighbors and mail-woman are both nosy and informative. Well, the neighbors aren't really nosy but the mail lady is, but they all have good gossip to share.

First of all, everyone and their brother wanted to know if the rumor that we have a secret room in our house is true - Yes, it is true, I have seen it with my own eyes and it is CREEPY! There's a trap door in the floor or the first landing in the stairs to our attic. We don't know who put it there - but its great for getting at the plumbing in the bathroom. We also don't know how many people have owned our house - when I have some free time I'd like to research it, but for now... The story goes the people who lived in the house before Sharon used it. Not the wife, but the husband. Apparently, all that is down in that room is a step ladder (we saw that it's missing rungs) and a chair. The husband, who was a doctor, was also a drunk. His wife didn't like him drinking so he would hide up there and she had no clue where he was or that he was drinking - so she must not have known it existed. Apparently according to a neighbor, when Sharon and her husband (Jeffery) moved in she went down in there and pulled out both empty and full bottles of Wild Turkey Whiskey. How nuts is that!?

Then there's the pigeons. Sharon and Jeffery used to raise them -- in our ATTIC!! They actually let them in the house. At one point, our neighbors said there was as many as a few hundred! Jeffery, who apparently was very reclusive, really like animals so he would actually fill the drain spouts as if they were troughs for cattle full of bird seed! There's still seed in them and all over the floor of the attic (needless to say we also have mice because of the seed which we are trying to get rid of). We saw pigeon cages in the garage at one point and there still are about 3-6 that still hang around. There was a flock of like 15-20 when we first moved in but since we aren't feeding them like Sharon was I think they have almost all left. But how gross is that!? The mail lady said at one point when she would come to the front door to drop off the mail she would actually have to cover her head! Who raises pigeons!? They are some of the dirtiest grossest animals around. Hell, St. Paul wants to feed them birth control.

Then there's the woe is me my dead husband. If I had to hear about Sharon's dead husband (Jeffery) one more time I was going to hit her. It was always a sob story. Well my husband died, so I couldn't finish the roof. Well my dead husband this well my dead husband that -- I get it you are a widow. But she kept dropping it like he died last week like we should be shoveling pity all over her. It almost reminded me of Bonnie at Nielsen -- always breaking out the dead husband line when she wanted someone to take care of something for her: I missed a bill can you fix it for me because my husband died... a year ago!!! Anyhow the ironic part is apparently when he passed away she wasn't even living in this house, because they were separated preparing for a divorce. Wow, I feel really bad for you knowing you were trying to leave him, geesh! Esepcially since it seems like she's been with the other freak for at least 5 yrs which is right around when she would have left her first husband. When we got that bit of news I was astonished considering the way she was laying it on.

Then there's the yard. Apparently, she had people believing that it was all top class gardening - wait til you see the pictures. I guess Jeffery even considered himself a horticulturist - fat chance! My mom is a horticulturist and if she wasn't even willing to save anything - that speaks for what a shit show it really was. (Just wait I have pictures.) You should see the things they did. Three layers of wood that served no purpose. Many different types of weeds planted as plants. Our next door neighbors Viva and Jerry and the people who live above them (can't remember their names) showered praise upon us when we hacked it all out. Even the plant guy down the street, Dwight, said that he would have done it too (but not to tell Sharon that - like i talk to her on a regular basis?)

Apparently Sharon didn't get along with many people either. Dwight sounded scared of her. Viva apparently had many squabbles with her. And Sharon refered to the lady behind us as her "Fat bitch nemisis". There are all kinds of broken glass and plates by the back fence -- I am wondering if there was some kind of war going on? The lady is pretty wide though - I saw her in a tight biking outfit - yikes! I didn't know they made those in obese. So, compared to Sharon I think we will be great neighbors if they can handle loud music from time to time and a few too many maroon and gold decorations (which reminds me I have to find our MN flag).